You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
