forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just want nice things and good sex
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
