As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
