If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
