Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
