so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
