his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
