it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
