IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize