i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
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