i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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