Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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