How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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