she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
