I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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