It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
