I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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