You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
