PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize