I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
