Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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