idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
