Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
