College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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