Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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