if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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