3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
