I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
