Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
