At least make sure they are 18
Why
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
