You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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