But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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