Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
