He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
