I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
