so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
