i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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