are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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