can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
