She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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