I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
