I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
