I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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