eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
