don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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