If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
