We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
