Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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