I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
