A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
