for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
