i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
