morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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