HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it glows. i had to have it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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