So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize