At least make sure they are 18
Why
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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