You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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