I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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