So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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