Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
