Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
