talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize