You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
