I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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