Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
