walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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