her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize