dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
