well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
