so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
