Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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