He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize