how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
