Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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